Know that it is okay to not be ready. So many people who eventually come to therapy feel unsure about starting for a long time. Wherever you are with it is okay. Take the time you need to simply wonder what it would be like to ask for help. It is okay to read about the process, or to ask friends or loved ones about their experiences. Even if you aren’t ready to schedule that first session, it’s okay to call a prospective therapist and ask your questions. It’s perfectly okay to feel however you feel about the time you spend talking with that person. All of it is okay, because it all moves you closer to making important changes – whether or not you decide to use therapy to help you do it.

Therapy will probably be uncomfortable at times. It is, at its heart, a process of change. I’ve never met anyone who comes to therapy to say their lives are perfect. People come to therapy to make something different, and making changes is often at least a little uncomfortable at first. You deserve to be comfortable in your discomfort. The therapist that is right for you will work with you to offer the balance of comfort, support, and challenge you need to become able and willing to pursue the changes you want in your life. If you feel pushed too much, too far, or in the wrong direction it is important to talk about it! The more honestly you can talk about your experiences in the process, the better the process will be able to support you and your goals.

There are many different forms of therapy and, even among therapists who claim to practice the same type of therapy, not all therapists are the same. We are all drawn to some people more than others, and that means a therapist may be a great match for others but feel like a bad match for you. If you find yourself struggling to open up, it’s important to ask yourself what is getting in the way. It may be that the process is early and you often struggle in this way – you may just need more time. It may be that you don’t feel like this therapist is someone you can easily talk to, and you may not even know why. There is nothing wrong with not being able to connect with the first therapist you try. Keep trying!

Whenever you’re ready,

pm